You're completely useless in the revolution.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
