fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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