Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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