I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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