I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
