My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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