Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
