i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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