you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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