I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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