Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
