I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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