Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
