so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
