my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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