i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
