I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
