I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
