When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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