Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
