I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
