you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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