im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
