You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
