It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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