he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize