So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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