its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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