Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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