I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
