Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
