Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
