They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
