Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
