Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
