Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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