so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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