I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
