Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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