yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
