Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
