White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Let's paint friendship bongs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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