took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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