it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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