How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
