You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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