Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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