Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
