So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
