You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
