wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
