Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
