if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize