Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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