after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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