I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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