I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
