My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
